‘There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that childbirth is painful, it’s that women are strong.’
(PART 1 of 2)
Our society these days, is such that the first birth we attend in most cases is our own. The sights and sounds are unfamiliar, and we really have no idea how we, as women, are going to cope with that amount of pain until we are in the thick of it. It can be confronting and scary for birthing mums, and for partners as well. Even this third time around, it is still difficult to prepare for the amount of pain I anticipate. I feel so fortunate to have had 2 babies, delivered naturally (as per my wishes), by midwives without medical intervention or drugs. For this to happen, a number of things need to fall into place for Mum and Bub.
BIRTHING SKILLS
I spent a couple of weeks before the birth of my first baby reading books on labour and birthing skills. I had planned to spend the last 4-6 weeks doing this, but he decided to come 4 weeks early, so my chance to read up was cut short. One particular book that really stood out for me was ‘Birthing Skills’ by Juju Sundin (physiotherapist).
There was great information in there about why we get pain during labor, and how to think about that in a positive light. Pain is the uterus contracting which is essential for your baby to travel down the birth canal, so every contraction brings you closer to meeting your bub. That’s pretty great!
There was great information on active labor, and how we use those active strategies to cope with pain. I really thought I’d be one of these ladies! I’m a bit of a fitness junkie, and like to keep active, so in my mind this was going to be me. How wrong was I?!
Then there came the vocalization chapter! I read this information with a fair amount of skepticism. I know things can get crazy in delivery rooms, but I was sure to be able to keep a lid on things. Right? WRONG! I really thought that was all a bit outlandish, and I would not be doing those ‘things’ in front of Ryan and the midwives. Turns out, I have spent both of my labors sitting on a fitball, making a whole lotta noise!
So while I didn’t get my planned amount of research into natural birthing done, I was SO glad I’d done this little amount of reading. I would have naturally have ended up doing the same thing during birth, using vocalization was just the way I happened to cope with pain. The voice is a very, very powerful tool! But the reading of first hand stories and other research gave me a frame of context to put my experience and birth in. It gave me the confidence I needed to sing it. LOUD!
SUPPORT PEOPLE
Having support people/persons is a person choice. You want to know you can count on the people around you. Make sure they are aware of your birth plan and preferences prior to the event. This stuff should really be talked about during the pregnancy, and especially in the last trimester.
I’m so thankful to have had Ryan by my side for both labours and births. I don’t need him to do anything during the actual labour, I just need to know he’s there. I don’t like to be touched, I don’t want my back rubbed, I don’t need constant reassurance, I don’t need to be coached. I just need to be allowed to go into my zone peacefully, and to ride that wave. I need my biggest fan to be by my side sending me all of the love and strength in the world (and playing the right music!). Consider who may fit this bill for you carefully. Obviously you will need to have NO INHIBITIONS what so ever in front of this person/people, and you will want your views on birthing to align.
READ AND ASK
Spend the time preparing and connecting with yourself. If you are wanting a natural birth, then you need to plan for it. Do your research. Read, read and read some more! As I said, I loved the Birthing Skills book by Juju Sundin, and there are many other great ones too. The ‘Friends of the Birth Centre’ (Brisbane) facebook page has many great links to articles on preparing for a natural birth. If you have friends who have delivered naturally, then ask questions. A lot of women are very open to talking about it (Lordy knows we all need to debrief on that shit), so ASK. Get the nitty gritty, and prepare yourself for something pretty tribal and primitive to occur! It’s about as animalistic and crazy as can be, but it’s also the most intensely wonderful, personal and joyful experience one could ever imagine!
PREPARATION IS NEVER WASTED
If you are planning and hoping for a natural birth, but things don’t go according to plan, this preparation is not all wasted. I believe this preparation strengthens the mind/body connection immensely, and we really need this to be solid as we open ourselves up to connecting with our bub as well as letting go of what we had maybe hoped for during birth. Conceiving a baby, carrying a baby, birthing a baby (however it happens), and then caring for a newborn are incredible tasks, physically, mentally and emotionally. So the more we connect with ourselves prior, the better off we’ll be however it goes down! It also takes IMMENSE strength to recover from a C section, or forceps or other assisted delivery, so no amount of research, or soul searching beforehand is ever wasted!
BE OPEN TO CHANGE
I’ve gone into both of my birthing experiences with the solid belief that I could and would do this. I have hoped and planned for natural births both times. I have never faulted in my self belief, or my wishes that this is what I wanted and was going to do. This takes a lot of quiet confidence, mental strength, power and vulnerability.
This all being said, I have always remained open, in the back of my mind, that this may not eventuate. Sometimes things just don’t go according to plan. I’ve remained open to the possibility that at some point I may require a CS, or an epidural, or some pain relief, and some stitches. This hasn’t happened, but it is important to trust in those around you, and to have the knowledge that first and foremost they are going to have your back. Yes, respect your birthing preferences, but help you to get your baby out in a way that is safe to you and your bub.
The mothers body AND the baby, need to work as one at all twists and turns for a natural birth to occur. There is no right or wrong. You are no less a woman if you end up in the operating theatre or with an epidural. Have a plan, but be open to change!
Giving birth is really the most amazing experience ever, I hope you don’t hate it or fear it! Take it on with confidence and strength.
It is then time when we women are simultaneously at our MOST vulnerable, yet MOST powerful!
Love Cx
(Part 2 to follow: sentiments for the Labour room. How to prepare yourself mentally for the birth.)
MUMMASFITCOLLECTIVE 